How to Build Self-Esteem: The Complete Guide

What is self-esteem?

Morris Rosenberg, a sociologist, defines self esteem as an individual's positive or negative attitude toward oneself and one's evaluation of one's own thoughts and feelings overall in relation to oneself. In other words it is the confidence that one has over one's own worth and abilities. Being one of the most basic needs of our life, self esteem impacts almost every arena of our life and thereby the quality of our life.

Why is it important?

Research shows that:

There is a correlation between low self esteem and depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation and attempts in adolescents.^[1]
People with low self esteem tend to have poorer relationships.^[2]
High self esteem is key to positive mental health and well being.^[3]
Those with higher self esteem tend to be happier, more satisfied, and experience fewer negative moods.^[4]
There is a significantly positive relationship between self esteem and academic/work performance.^[5]

How to build self-esteem?

Self-esteem is not a fixed trait; it is a muscle that can be strengthened over time. Try incorporating these practices into your daily life:

1. Have realistic expectations It is okay to feel low and disappointed when we do not achieve the goal that we set forth for ourselves. Failure to reach the goal may lead to low self esteem. Something that can help in combating it is having realistic expectations which also means setting realistic goals. This prepares you better and also prepares you for the results.^[6]
2. Cash in on your support group Building a strong support group that involves parents, friends, teachers, pets and more senior others will make you feel good about yourself. Additionally, when you feel low, the support group is there to boost your self esteem.^[7]
3. Be your biggest supporter The best way to build self esteem is by being kind to yourself, recognising one's own strength, believing in yourself and choosing to value and appreciate yourself.^[8]
4. Establish positive relationships When a person surrounds themselves with people who appreciate them and motivates them, self esteem rises. Even when we fall down, a strong net of people will be there to help us back up.^[9]
5. Challenge yourself One of the most important signs of a healthy self esteem is to challenge oneself, set a goal and reach that goal. Achieving goals can boost one's self esteem. Start with simple challenges like going to the gym or finishing a book.^[10]
6. Convert negative thoughts When hit by an unfavourable circumstance, it is natural to have a flow of negative thoughts. During those times, practice converting negative thoughts into positive ones. An example would be, "I will never get over this embarrassing situation." This thought can be altered as, "It was just one situation and that doesn't define me."^[11]
7. Avoid black and white thinking All of us are guilty of thinking in the extremes: "Either I am excellent at a given task, or I am horrible." This is rarely the case. Avoid thinking in extremities and, as mentioned earlier, be kind to yourself.^[12]
8. Avoid social comparisons One of the biggest reasons why teenagers have low self esteem is comparing oneself with others, be it in terms of academics, physical features or others. Stop comparing yourself and understand that your comparison affects no one else but yourself.^[13]
9. Do things that you enjoy One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to routinely carve out time to do those things that you genuinely enjoy, like playing an instrument, drawing, or gardening.^[14]
10. Understand yourself Increased self awareness helps you understand yourself, your weaknesses and your strengths. This self-knowledge can be leveraged to protect your boundaries during challenging times.^[15]
11. Volunteer for your community Volunteering for one's community drastically increases our sense of belonging and our sense of underlying purpose.^[16]
12. Take part in sports Studies show that taking part in team sports and physical activities starting from adolescence consistently improves self esteem.^[17]

Create a list

Create a physical list of things that you like about yourself. For example:

I love my caring attitude.
I love how I am a stickler for routine.
I love how sincere I am about my goals.

Design affirmations

Design your own affirmations to repeat every morning. For example:

I am strong and capable.
I am confident in my worth.
It is perfectly okay for me to not be okay right now.

References & Citations

Resource Reference

Suicide Prevention India Foundation. (2026). How to Build Self-Esteem: The Complete Guide. SPIF Resources Library. DOI: [Pending]

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