How to Build Self-Esteem: The Complete Guide

What is self esteem?

Morris Rosenberg, a sociologist, defines self esteem as an individual's positive or negative attitude toward oneself and one's evaluation of one's own thoughts and feelings overall in relation to oneself[cite: 2]. In other words it is the confidence that one has over one's own worth and abilities[cite: 2]. Being one of the most basic needs of our life, self esteem impacts almost every arena of our life and thereby the quality of our life[cite: 2].

Why is it important?

Studies:

• have detected a correlation between low self esteem and depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation and attempts in adolescents[cite: 2].
• have shown that people with low self esteem tend to have poorer relationships[cite: 2].
• have shown that high self esteem is key to positive mental health and well being[cite: 2].
• shows that those with higher self esteem tend to be more happier, satisfied and tend to have fewer negative moods[cite: 2].
• shows that there is a significantly positive relationship between self esteem and academic performance[cite: 2].

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How to build self esteem?

• Having realistic expectations: It is okay to feel low and disappointed when we do not achieve the goal that we set forth for ourselves[cite: 2]. Failure to reach the goal may lead to low self esteem[cite: 2]. Something that can help in combating it is by having realistic expectations which also means realistic goals[cite: 2]. This prepares you better and also prepares you for the results[cite: 2].
• Cashing on your support group: Building a strong support group that involves parents, friends, teachers, pets and more senior others will make you feel good about yourself[cite: 2]. Additionally, when you feel low, the support group is there to boost your self esteem[cite: 2].
• Being your biggest supporter: The best way to build self esteem is by being kind to yourself, recognising one's own strength, believing in yourself and value and appreciate yourself[cite: 2].
• Establishing positive relationships: When a person surrounds themselves with people who appreciate them and motivates them, self esteem rises[cite: 2]. Even when we fall down, a strong net of people will be there to help us back[cite: 2].
• Challenge yourself: One of the most important signs of a healthy self esteem is to challenge oneself, set a goal and reach that goal[cite: 2]. Achieving goals can boost one's self esteem[cite: 2]. Start with simple challenges like going to the gym or finishing a book[cite: 2].
• Converting negative thoughts into positive thoughts: When hit by an unfavourable circumstance, it is natural to have a flow of negative thoughts[cite: 2]. During those times, practice converting negative thoughts into positive ones[cite: 2]. An example would be, "I will never get over this embarrassing situation."[cite: 2] This thought can be altered as, "It was just one situation and that doesnt define me"[cite: 2].
• Black and white thinking: All of us are guilty of thinking the extremes![cite: 2] "Either I am excellent at a given task, or I am horrible"[cite: 2]. This is not the case[cite: 2]. Avoid thinking in extremities and as mentioned earlier be kind to yourself[cite: 2].
• Avoid social comparisons: One of the biggest reasons why teenagers have low self esteem is comparing oneself with others, be it in terms of academics, physical features or others[cite: 2]. Stop comparing yourself and understand that your comparison affects no one else but yourself[cite: 2].
• Do things that you enjoy: One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to do those things that you enjoy like playing guitar or drawing or gardening[cite: 2].
• Understanding yourself: Increased self awareness helps you understand yourself, your weaknesses and your strengths[cite: 2]. This can be used during challenging times[cite: 2].
• Volunteering for community: Volunteering for one's community increases our sense of belonging and our sense of purpose[cite: 2].
• Taking part in sports activities: Studies show that taking part in sports activities starting from adolescence improves your self esteem[cite: 2].

Create a list of things that you like about yourself:

• For example: 1) I love my caring attitude[cite: 2].
• 2) I love how I am a stickler for routine[cite: 2].
• 3) I love how sincere I am about myself[cite: 2].

Design your own affirmations for every morning:

• For example: 1) I am strong[cite: 2].
• 2) I am confident[cite: 2].
• 3) It is okay to not be okay[cite: 2].